Kyunki janta ko ullu banana hai....

Have you ever got a chance to watch Ekta Kapoor's K serials. If you watch that once there is all guarantee that you will never again watch it.Its dragging, monotonous and of course logic defying.I have even joined the ' I hate Ekta Kapoor' community in Orkut as a silent protest against such serious brain damaging exercises.Really man, this lady seems to have taken the whole country for a ride..

If you want to really torture yourself tune into Star/Sony wherever they show these K serials and you would find that sitting at office with piles of work is much better..And to get the story you can watch just one episode in 2 months as mostly there is no story as story/screenplay and the characters are on the fly..

Some interesting things in the serials..( hey I dont watch them, just seeing 1-2 episodes is enuf to be an authority to write this article):-

1. Marriage - this is like a never ending loop. Girl A gets married to Boy C even though she loves boy B . Boy B gets married to Girl D .Girl D would have had a crush at Boy C way back in college and vows to destroy Boy C as he had rejected her love.After a while we see girl A is divorced and remarried boy B, the original love of her life. Girl D gets married to Boy C and then she realises now she has to take revenge against boy B as he left her for girl A.Oh what a complicated life.I am sure Einstein's mass-energy equations make more sense than these stories.In this iterative loop of marriages the viewer's cerebral capabilities are put to good test..

2. jug jug jiyo - There are upto 6 generations of a family alive in one serial..By any available laws of science this is rather impossible unless all get married as teenagers.Even if all generations have a gap of 20 years in between them, the oldest members are 120 years old. The Guiness records people got it all wrong when they made some Japanese man at 111 years the oldest person, it is actually ' Ba' of KSBKBT( Kyunki sas bhi kabhi bahu thi), who is close to 200 years old with 6 generations to look after.

3.Whos who - You will never be able to identify who is saas, who is bahu, who is grand mom, who is father, who is son. The character cast is also completely illogical.You will have a 20 year old playing mother to a 25 year old son.They did time travel or what to stay so young. Even though they have innumerable children, they have a superb figure and no signs of age.A problem arising with 25 year olds playing 50 year olds without even a hint of greying or wrinkling.Please gimme a break!

4.Solah Singaar - The ladies in serials dress up as if they go for a wedding every day.Kancheepuram and fancy sarees, matching jewellery,full facial makeup, hair dos in tact.They never get tired or never wear clothes which normal people wear at home.What more they even sleep with make up and Kancheepuram/sherwani on.Very rich ,huh..And not to mention the weird clothes they wear which I have never seen anyone sensible wearing at home in real life..There are ways to identify Vamps and heroines.If they dress up normally with a mangalsutra and kumkum thats heroine.But if they have triangle shaped kumkums on forehead or weird stones or tattoos in face or body its vamp.This thumb rule does not hold true sometimes though.

5.Kaam vaam - Its interesting to note that none of the characters in serial do any work , but have lot of riches. they are full time at home celebrating weddings or festivals which is anyways galore some times takes 2-3 full episodes for a wedding.Gosh, I wish I also got some work like that where all I have to do is sit at home celebrating everything.

6. Special effects - No dissection of serials is complete without mentioning the crazy and irritating special effects. Suppose there is a scene where the vamp( remember girl D?) has decided to malign our sati-savitri heroine(girl A). The camera zooms into D's face..zzzzzzzzoommmm..she has a crooked smile , but the ghar waalas are so innocent( I would say stupid) they dont notice it.Now suddenly lightning strikes on Girl A's face..all her hopes are lost..zzzzzzooommm..girl A's face...ZZZooommm..Girl D's face..zzzooommmm..Girl A's face..This goes on for 5 minutes ..now if u are still awake and watching you get a zoom in of other ghar waala's expressions too..some shocked, some happy at the defeat of girl A etc etc..By the time it zooms back to girl A the day's serial is over.

7. Punar janam and humshakal - these concepts in hindi movies are used in abundance especially when they have to drag for another 500 episodes or one of the characters is leaving the serial. On friday we see the heroine A is dead and all are mourning her death.For 1-2 weeks all mourn her death and then one day one new girl comes to the house.She is girl A itself in new avatar.She was actually not dead, she miraculously escaped death and came back to life.yep meta physcists should hang their head in shame.This means another new season of torture has started.When u thought finally this wretched serial is ending, there is twist in the tale..
Humshakal is used to drag the story mostly.when they dont have anything at all to tell, to add masala kill the original character and bring in a humshakal or lookalike..And surprise-o-surprise, the humshakal knows everything about the original's family, even mannerisms , height, weight, voice everything is same.Really even identical twins can afford to have differences, but humshakals cant.

So when the bitching and gossiping of queerly dressed females and males who have no work other than to have extra marital affairs and pre marriage affairs and plot against each other fill in your living room, Ekta Kapoor must be counting her crores. And fortunately or unfortunately looks like it is here to stay.So tune in and watch what happened to Girl A and Boy B .Even after 6 years they will be still at where we left them, but in the serial they must have leaped another 50 years.